This is difficult to discuss. First, I want you to know I’ve finally figured out what was wrong with Bones and Lies Between Us (Copper #2), so the sequel to Pennies from Burger Heaven WILL be released later this fall. HALLELUJAH! Can you hear the angels singing?
This is more of a personal update. Physically, I’m great. I feel better than I have in years, so that’s HUGE (my hormones were out-of-whack, which made me feel awful, sleep terribly and look like the walking dead). But, emotionally …
I’ve been a hot mess.
It was the worst kind of bad, too, because everything was fine on the surface. Husband is good. Our two kids are thriving at college. The McKays are farrrrrrr from perfect, but overall, everyone is happy and healthy.
The problem was all me. Part of it was adjusting to being an empty-nester. I’ve never been a helicopter parent, but it was still HARD with our children gone.
Still, I kept chugging along. I wrote Copper #2 in the wee-early morning hours (5 – 7 am), but have been much busier with work this year. (I’m a life coach and help people get unstuck, personally or professionally). I know the goal is supposedly to write full-time, but my writing flows better when I’m fulfilled elsewhere (less pressure to create).
After work, I get dinner on the table, do chores, or enjoy reconnecting with my husband again after years of nothing but kids, kids, kids. We’ve hiked cool places, do yoga, binge-watched 67 episodes of Game of Thrones in 37 days to prepare for the final season. I should be ashamed of that fact, but I’m oddly proud of it. We just finished watching season 3 of Stranger Things (Never Ending Storrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy!). Talk to me if you get that joke.
My sequel was also causing me major problems, which made no sense. Pennies sells well, has 260+ reviews, with an overall rating of 4.6 (out of 5 stars). It’s been a dream come true. I work on that book everyday, but something was still wrong. People pay me to get unstuck from their lives, yet I couldn’t fix myself! That compounded the problem. In May, I finally figured out the underlying issue.
Trauma.
You Must Go Back, to Move Forward
Everyone else in my family had emotionally moved on from our house fire in August 2017. Except me. We were so lucky that the firemen were able to save over 90% of our belongings. We could’ve moved home again, but time and reflection showed us that we needed a change. We’d spent the past 10 months living out in the country, so we bought a house on 1.6 acres out in the middle of nowhere.
WE. LOVE. IT.
Still, I was home alone when the fire happened, so I knew I had the most PTSD. Even after dealing with that, I had more pain to unpack. Joy.
Seemingly unrelated, but totally connected, I discovered issues from childhood I thought I’d dealt with. Patterns that kept me stuck and playing small … in my marriage, at work, with my novels.
No, my parents didn’t lock me in the basement (which you might think after reading my fiction). They told me everyday they loved me. I’ve never gone hungry. I’ve never known racism.
Nevertheless, there were hidden roadblocks. Mainly, the #1 message from my inner critic, It’s never good enough.
I’M never good enough.
I already understood that’s my loudest critical voice, but the fire REALLY triggered that since I failed to save our home. It’s not rational thinking, I know, but that was still part of my shame.
Now that I’ve figured out my problem, I have so much more compassion for myself. Plus, I’ve got my mojo back. My writing is flowing again. Best of all, I have JOY!
If you want, I’ll write more later how to figure out your own hidden roadblocks, though it may be the first quarter of 2020 before I get to it. Priority #1 is to finish Bones and Lies Between Us, then get it out to you, my readers.
I’m still alive, thank you. I appreciate your extreme patience.
What do you do about your inner critic? Please leave a comment.
Pick up your FREE copy today of the mystery, The Moon Rises at Dawn (SkipJack Publishing). Read, enjoy, repeat.
Inspiring, Thank you!
Thank you for saying so…because AS SOON AS I hit send, I thought, did you REALLY want to share that much?! I appreciate your comment.
I would very much like to figure out my hidden roadblocks!
I have suffered from depression such I was a kid. I am 67 now and it is much worse! I have a lot of problems with pain now which causes some of the depression but I know a lot stems from childhood. I don’t know what to do about it.
I am so happy that you have figured out things for yourself!
Oh, Venette. There’s SO MUCH evidence that shows how much PHYSICAL pain is actually EMOTIONAL pain. I’m so sorry that you’ve struggled with this for decades, but the good news is that it does NOT take decades to figure out your patterns. I’ll wrap my head around how to explain this, then reach out to y’all.
In the meantime, be as gentle as you can with yourself. For many of us, that’s harrrrrd, but do the best you can. Much love. m3
Glad to know you’re mojo is back! I’m sure your honesty has touched a few issues for your readers. Write on, Marcy!!!
Dear Barb – your precious comment made me smile from ear to ear. TY for taking time to reach out to me. I plan to WRITE ON!!!!!
I study Buddhism for a lot of reasons but one is my fear of inadequacy- one thing that helps is interrupting that horrid voice by repeated I gotta certain affirmations – sounds ridiculous but it works – I have a hundred but one (that’s Teddy) is: when the going gets tough, the tough get going!
I don’t think that sounds ridiculous at all, ESPECIALLY if it works for you! Thanks for sharing our inights, Judy.
Oh, sweet Marcy, you are INCREDIBLE! I’m as private, and as self-critical, as you and balk at being so open. But, in my time of need last week, I asked for prayer on Fb as I dealt with the as then unknown source of physical agony and the reaction has been utterly overwhelming. Likely as overwhelming as these responses will be for you. Yet, I hope you know, as I humbly do, that you deserve every comment and blessing because YOU are such a blessing. To your family. To your readers. To me <3
Your comment made me cry. Truly. We don’t want perfect people around us…we’re all CRAVING connection. To be around folks willing to share the good, the bad and the ugly of their lives. I’m trying to spend less time on FB, but please email because I want to hear more about your prayer request. Love you. m3
Done, via Messenger. Love you too!
So glad you’re feeling better. Sending love and good vibes your way.
Thank you! <3
Our oldest went off to college last fall and along with a job change and a church change, I spent the last year feeling lost. I’m preparing for the empty nest after my son graduates next spring, so I completely understand the emotions of that much change in a short amount of time. Thank you for sharing. I’m so glad you’re feeling better!
My inner critic spends a lot of time telling me that no one cares what I have to say, it’s all been said, you’re not interesting enough, someone else has done and will do it better–those have held me back for years. I’m finally old enough to shut that critic up and if I fail, I fail. At least I tried.
Glynis – I won’t even try to sugar-coat it, empty-nesting is harrrrrrd. But, it also has several cool, and unexpected blessings …. like getting to do what you want when you want. Plus, seeing your kids so happy and really growing into themselves is A-MAZING. It takes time, but your family will find your new normal.
Yep, “I don’t matter” is a huge, ugly, awful inner critic that many, many people struggle with. I’ll put more thoughts into this, then reach out to y’all. You’re on the right track. Ignore the voice and try anyway. That’s what changes the wiring in your head. You’re afraid, but you DO it anyway.
Hi Venette, Childhood trauma effects a growing brain. To make a long story short, ask your doctor for celexa- it will help you to pick up seratonin, something your brain stopped doing enough of long ago. I went 45 years depressed. You will be amazed at the difference. Be sure and take it for two weeks to see a difference. It may cause a tingling in your head every now and then for two weeks but that is just your body adjusting to the new seratonin. I lived through this and also a four year psychology student. I hope you will see if this helps. 🙂
How thoughtful of you to pass on what’s helped you. I love all you guys … such generous souls. xoxoxo
Thank you for your transparency! Everything you said feels very relatable to more people than you realize! I can’t wait to read the new book!❤️
For better or worse, transparent seems to be the only way I know how to operate. Excuse the pun, but I’m an open book! I’m excited to share Copper #2 with y’all. Much love. m3
I don’t know which is more admirable — confronting the sources of emotional pain or the willingness to discuss it, and your process, publicly. Thank you for helping to reduce the stigma so often attached to this issue.
Thank you, Bruce. My MAJOR EPIPHANY came at the beginning of May, so I’ve had over two months to process it. I just woke up one day and was READY to share this with y’all. NOBODY has a perfect life, and I’m not interested in being around people who act like they do. However, I appreciate your support because it was a big debate on whether or not to share.
You were so brave to write about this. Is not ironic how we are our own worst (inner) critics. My mantra was changed from ” I have to be the best, brightest, most loving , warmest, compassionate person ever, to”what others think about me is none of my buisness” get a life , Kathy!
Yep, Kathleen. Sounds like we’re cut from the same cloth. I sooooooo understand your perfectionism. It’s impossible to attain, destructive to our souls, and just not worth it! Glad you’ve moved on….much love. m3
Thank you for sharing LIFE. These days I am happy to report that my middle grade/middle school fantasy (Loukas and the Game Chance) will launch on Oct. 1. Yet…and yet…it’s the madness of marketing me and my book that’s dragging me down, down, down. I’m an old guy still wanting to write. I’m told: MARKET EVERYWHERE. UGH. I am blessed with wellness. I long for the peace–and challenge–of writing. I look for ward to reading your new book. Thank you. Cheers. Let’s keep supporting one another.
First off, Anthony, CONGRATS on finishing Loukas and the Game Chance (GREAT title, btw), and sending it out into the world. It’s IMPOSSIBLE to market everywhere, so don’t even try. Your email list is your #1 best friend and top priority, because it will be 100% yours. It’s better to have 100 raving fans, than 10,000 random people on your email list who have no clue who you are and what you write. Plus, think of your email list as your FRIENDS. Friends talk about other stuff than BUY MYYYYYY BOOK. What interests you? What are your hobbies (besides, writing). What are you struggles. Be a real person to them, and they’ll be interested in hanging with you and possibly buy your novel. GOOD LUCK!
I am a depression and OCD sufferer who has been working on a novel for a good ten years and it’s not ready yet. I also deal with an inner critic that is relentless. She is more like an inner bully.
I play Sims 4 on my computer. One of the jobs that my Sims can have is that of criminal. To move between levels at a certain point, the Sim has to witness the death of another Sim. One of the ways a Sim can die is if its needs aren’t met (bladder, fun, food, sleep, social, and hygiene).
So I created a Sim, gave it a name I didn’t like, walled it up in a room, and let it die. 🙂
Your inner bully. Ouch. That was both profound and powerful for me. Thanks for sharing that (I think – HA).
How cool for your Sim. I love that. Let your Sim inspire you on how to treat yourself. Good luck on your novel. It’s never too late. Push that inner bully aside and keep writing. You can do it.
I ignore my inner critic. It’s only negative and I’m trying to be more positive like my daughter. Love your inspiration!🦋💕
Thanks, Esther. I’m so happy to hear that you’ve got your daughter to inspire you. Aren’t kids incredible? They show us the best and the worst of ourselves. I appreciate your comment and hope you’ll keep crushing your inner critic. Peace ~
I’m so happy for you that you’ve been able to identify your roadblock and crash through it. I’ve never been in a house fire but I can absolutely understand how devastating that must have been. Thankfully, no one was hurt but it’s still traumatic to lose your possessions. Yes, it’s just stuff, but some do hold sentimental value and cannot be replaced.
I’m thrilled the writing is finally flowing as I love Copper and can’t wait for the next installment. Please, do not feel pressured. You must enjoy the journey as well. This reader will be there when the book is finally ready.
BTW, big GOT fan too, although I didn’t have to binge watch as I was hooked from the first episode.
Francois, I’m SO GRATEFUL you left a comment now because I cannot thank you enough for your emails, BookBub reviews and words of encouragement while I was still struggling. You TRULY, TRULY helped me keep going and find out what was wrong with me. I appreciate you so much!
Thank you for your reply Marcy.
I should have said that I have tried different anti depressants that elevate serotonin. I am currently taking Effexor, it had worked fairly well for years. Recently my dose was increased. Even after at least a month it doesn’t seem to have helped much.
I have a lot of issues with pain. I have had 2 neck fusions, right shoulder repair, and just found out I need a shoulder replacement on the left side. I worked over 40 years in nursing it was very hard on my body. And my mind at times.
I keep having flash backs of my childhood and a lot of dreams. They are not bad things. I have lost 3 of my 6 siblings, 1 in-law and my husband in the last 3 years. I am the youngest of 7 kids. I was always compared to them and always found lacking by everyone. I grew up in a small town, everyone knew everyone else’s business.
Oh my, Venette. You’ve had a LOT of losses to grieve the past few years, and even more from your childhood. Comparison is such a damaging game. Good luck in dealing with everything. I appreciate your thoughtfulness.
It takes a lot of guts to open up about something so personal! Thank you for sharing. I think we all hear that inner voice saying that we are not good enough. I know I do…then I just try to “show” the voice that it’s wrong. Doesn’t always work and it never goes away, so I’ll take any tips you have to offer.
Hi Patty – I’m glad/hate that you understand what I’m saying. I will definitely put more thought into what helped me, then will reach out to you guys again. Much love. m3
Marcy,
Thank you for your openness and for being human. Your struggle hits familiar chords with numerous folks in these comments. Thank you for helping those of us who also have similar struggles to know we are not the only ones. I have major depressive disorder, fibromyalgia, severe back issues, and a host of other things going on. It truly helps to know that other people can relate on some level.
Goodness, Betty. You’re dealing with A LOT. I’ve been BLOWN AWAY by the comments here + the scores of emails in my inbox. We’re all so much alike than we are different. It’s important for us to remember that, and to be reminded that we’re not alone. Much love. m3
Oh, my gawd. “I’m never good enough” goes with the “I’m fat, stupid, have no talent” mantra that can hit me at the oddest times, and it is debilitating. Being and thinking positive can be harder than just saying the words, right? We just have to put on our big-girl panties and nurture ourselves through these moments, days, weeks, whatever. Life. It is life. My therapist helps a lot, but I gotta do the work. If I can work at it, heck, anyone can. Lol!
Hello, sweet Sarah. Everything you said spoke to me, but I think the most important part is “nurture ourselves.”I’ve found that it’s in the middle of “those moments” when we’re triggered, yet we choose a different way. A more loving/kind/supportive voice. That changes our thoughts, then that changes our actions. Again, easier said than done. TY for being here… you rock!
Hey Marcy! Girl, I think everyone ‘gets’ to go back and make that painful visit to childhood eventually in life! Nothing like waiting until you’re in your 50’s to tackle it all at once! Right? empty nest, the hormone issues, and blah blah blah! That’s exactly what happened to me. We are led to believe its too vulnerable being vulnerable! Or, no one wants to hear your junk! Those are the lies the enemy wants us to believe because he knows these are the very things we should be doing to set ourselves free! Not only does this vulnerable sharing help ourselves but it also encourages others that they are not alone. And we are able to help them in their time of self reflect. So, good job and congratulations!!! I cannot wait to read your sequel! I may just get “Pennies” out of the book shelf and re-read so it’s fresh on my mind. Oh! And to answer your question about my inner critic… I discern if it’s truth-something that I need to admit and acknowledge about myself and if it is I begin the work toward change toward a better version of me. If it’s not true (and we can get honest when it’s just me-myself-and-I), I call those lies. So, if it’s a lie I get busy on replacing it with the truth. Most of my truths come from the book of Psalms. It is loaded with content regarding joy! Glad we are all in this together. Joyfully yours, Carla
You’re such a rockstar, Carla. You understand ten-fold what I mean about trauma, so I so appreciate your love and support. It’s amazing how God can take our brokenness, then turn it into MAJOR blessings (for ourselves, as well as others). Thank you for your friendship. much love. m3
Thank you so much for your vulnerability in sharing this with us – and the good news of healing. Truly inspiring.
I appreciate you taking time to give me a shoutout, Sonia. I’m so touched at the generosity and support from others.It’s really humbling. TY again.
Great article Marcy- I understand where you’re coming from. I’ve been sober for 19 year in September, but in order to get sober and stay,I had to go back in time and resolve all past issues especially ones bedded way down and let them all go. After that cleansing at the treatment center I was a new person and knew I could remain sober. From that day forward when I feel stressed and scared I just pray to Jesus and let go and let God, it’s truly been my lifesaver.
Love you dearly and can’t wait for your new book.
Thank you, Tonya. You so, so, so the need to deal with stuff from the past, and to live one day at a time. You’re so special to me. LOVE YOU!
Marcy
So glad to read your uplifting message and openness. You look fabulous and healthy. You need not be so hard on yourself. We’re all perfectly imperfect in ways the make us humble. It is kind of weird to start a new life when the pattern of kids and home was so ever present .
Admiration and respect for just being you😊
Thank you, Sharon. I so appreciate one my church buddies understanding where I’m coming from and sending love my way. You’re a sweetheart. I appreciate folks like you so much. xoxoxoxo
Marcy, not quite sure how I found my way onto your email list. I am a speculative fiction writer. I confess, I have not heard of the works you have written.
But, in your struggles, I hear the voice of the girl that became woman… “Notice me. I matter. I exist. I want to be popular…liked.” And you walked the road to get here. On your own. Not writing poetry in a garret, but the keystrokes are there.
I am perhaps one of those you might be bored with. A near perfect life, retired in Thailand as a disabled Navy veteran of the Persian Gulf. PTSD. Too many stressful experiences. A near year-long deployment, then involved in a disaster recovery operation. Alcoholism, and dealing with marital infidelity. A difficult ending to a first marriage. O
In America, I was given anti-depressants by the VA. Diabetes type II and 350 pounds weight was the result, 15 years ago. I took action.
I lost 100 pounds over a year. I learned to write from many how-to books by Amazon Kindle authors. I got diabetes A1C under control.
I have daily life situations that others see as problems. To me, they are not a problems, but a series of challenges:
Developing Arthritis, culture shock, even after retiring 3 years ago to Thailand. Xenophobia and racism. Political instability in Thailand. Falling dollar against Thai currency. Being a Eisenhower Republican-moderate, in an Era where Trump and the main GOP are cowards.
But none of that gets to me. I handle it. I write. I draw maps of fantasy towns, I do digital space art. Maps of planetary solar systems.
We are all human, facing our own primal fears of eventual death, aging, loss of capacity, and struggle for significance.
We cannot stop the arrival of the future, technology, the uncertainty of post-Trump America’s underlying racism and fascism revealed.
We will go through the fire. So did you.
So shall we all. We needs must, to forge our lives, through conflict, and adversity, to return victorious from the campaign to the accolades of those who would gaze upon heroes, and wonder: “how did they do it?”
You know how. You press on. You press “Enter.” You give little thought to those who would stop you, by their jealousy.
Continue being a hero. You earn it, and your living, by word-smithing.
Dreaming, and not holding back, not limiting yourself… then taking action.
Every day, I encourage myself. Every challenge, I go through.
Mantras: “15,000 fans at 3 net a book is 45,000.” “I have stories to tell.” “I will succeed, my family depends on me.”
Keep going, Marcy. Unto death. Your voice strikes a chord of recognition in us all.
Good luck.
Thank you for such inspiration, James. You’ve bee through A LOT. Not to sound trite, but THANK YOU for serving our country. It sounds like it took a heavy toll on you, physically and emotionally. Good for you that you were able to take your life back. I’m glad your career as a writer is taking off. That’s exciting. We’ll both keep pressing on.
Thanks for the inspiring words. I know how hard it is to admit out loud. I’m still struggling with that one. My empty nest is that out of 14 fur babies I am down to 1 and my fear is that I will loose her any day. Akkk! Man the whaling from your heart really hurts.
I get criticism from all over and I’m not sure who is the worst culprit; me, my mother, or my sisters. My biggest fear, is the fear of failure and getting into a bigger pile of you know what; even bigger than what I’m in right now. The stress of sliding my foot an inch out the door has me pounding my head on the desk and saying, “I can do it, I can do it.,… I don’t know when I’m going to do it, But, I can do it!” I am truly my worst enemy.
Have a blessed day and a successful launch!
Hi Xenia – thanks so much for sharing some of your own story. We are typically our own worst enemies, but the anxiety doesn’t come from nowhere. Though it seems scary, it really helped me to take time to figure it out. Once I found the source, it absolutely freed me. Good luck to you in conquering your own demons.
Marcy, I tried to reply earlier but was interrupted!
I think my earliest ‘criticism’ was probably from the Jesuits who ran my grammar school with a rod of Iron and occasional use of the dreaded Ferula!
It did me no harm, I have since managed to set my goals and (most of the time) achieve them!
High standards are a goal worth striving towards!
Great to hear from you, Paul. You always make me smile. Glad you’re do so well. We’ll both keep pressing on.
I am touched by your sharing and all your fans’ sharing, too. What blessings they all are! I’m a mom of 6, now proud grandma of 5, and hope to some day be an empty nester! LOL, they do come back and stay for awhile. One daughter struggling through mental and emotional issues, but she is making progress. Thank God! Hubby of over 50 years is still working full time, hallelujah! And I am privileged to babysit grandchildren.
What I’d love now is time alone! I am now a published author, in three of our writing chapter’s anthologies. And still writing new stories. So, my advice is to be gentle with yourself. That’s so very important! Treat yourself as you would a very dear friend who has gone through a tough time. What would you say to her? Do for her?
Do it for YOU! You are SPECIAL!
Blessings on you and your readers!
Hi Sherry – what a busy, full life you have + welcome to the writing world. I appreciate your suggestions. I’m really touched at all the support here. Take care.
Marcie,
It takes a large measure of boldness to open yourself up to look carefully at what makes you what you are. I applaud your efforts, and appreciate your results.
When the inner critic says, “I DON’T MATTER”, remind it to try spell-checker again, it should come out as , “IT DON’T MATTER”. It’s better to let some stuff go than to grid yourself into a small pile of insignificant grains of dust for stuff long gone and done with. We are never who we were, we only are who we are now, and who we will become in the future – that is where our best efforts should be focused.
Once upon a time, one of my four children, (they are all now over 49 years of age) made a comment – almost a complaint – that they did not have a perfect childhood. I reminded them that the only way for one to have a perfect childhood was to be a perfect child. Neither that one nor the siblings could gainsay that.
Oh, we will not know our true course until we first establish where we are; second, where we were (we are NOT there now); and, third, which way we are headed. (Pro tip: the first and third are the important stages. Second – where we were – is for reference only, after we reach the goal.)
Bless you for your efforts, Dear Lady. I enjoyed Pennies, I look forward to sequel.
Hi Robert – I love you’re switching the message. I’m Not Good Enough just become I’m Good Enough. Perfect is just an allusion, but it’s so damaging. I will settle for good enough any day. Thank you for reaching out, and showing me a different perspective. I appreciate you.
Hi Marcie. I am 74 and live in Australia. I have spent 70 years with very low self esteem and self worth. My husband [who I did love!] died 6 years ago after many years of heart and lung problems. In 2001 he was accused of digitally raping one of his massage clients and was put in jail for 2 years He never denied or affirmed his guilt, and left it to me to organise lawyers, tell the family and selected friends [I selected the friends, I was so ashamed and ….yes …..so guilty!! That useless emotion we all carry, that we are not good enough, didn’t do enough etc. Then I became angry… at him! I had to ring my step daughter and tell her that her father was in jail!! I had to sell the house, [my family and friends were wonderful……he always told me that people put up with me because of him! He was very charismatic to other people!!] When he got out I was still angry and I carried it over into the years we had left as he got sicker. Then I felt guilty about being angry!! When he died I went through the usual did I do enough and then felt guilty because I wasn’t devastated by his death!! Go figure!!
My father just wanted me to be better at school than his boss’s kids and he told me often!! I was, but only because I liked school! I have had weight problems for years. When I was 70 I found I enjoyed sex!! Isn’t that pathetic? I met a “Friend with benefits” who treated me as a sexy women!! I have seen a Psychiatrist for 14years and last year went to a Psychologist {best thing!!] I have had a tendon reconstruction my left foot, a left hip replacement and a left shoulder replacement!! and my back is shot!! For the first time in my life I am comfortable with who I am and love being considered ‘wise’ by the younger rellies!! We all have our skeletons and as much as we want others to learn by our experiences, they all have to live their own journeys. All we can do is pick up the pieces and prove that we CAN come out in the end with our heads held high, that we have LIVED a life!
Goodness Margaret! Your life sounds like a made-for-TV movie and I mean that a HUGE compliment! You’ve been through a lot, but I LOVE the sexy 70’s that you’ve discovered.Outstanding! Much love to you and I soooooo appreciate your comment. You are INSPIRING!
Good evening Marcy. Thanks for your writing. Thanks for humanizing your pain and the trouble that caused it. I read an earlier comment that reflects in me as well. I have been shut down, sullen, and tormented for years. Depression seems to be my only friend. The path behind is twisted ruins and the path ahead is bolder strunned . I really would like to know how to recognize how to see the cause.
Thank you
Hi Michael. I’m sorry you’re in so much pain, but have commend your beutiful writing. I really saw and felt it. I’ll put more thought into my procces, then reach out to my audience.
Soul Sistah… what we have in common:
empty nesting (tho my adjustment has been a bit different than what you describe, it still required a hefty recalibration of purpose and time management!)
recovery from a fire (mine happened long ago, 1991, a month after I married my first husband, we lost EVERYTHING except a suitcase of clothes and my husband’s car-I’m still figuring out the impact that had on the failure of that marriage)
recently binge-watched both G.O.T. and Stranger Things (loved the former, meh on the latter)
But what I connected most with in your post was this idea of “what WRONG with me” when everything about my upbringing seemed to be right. I still wrestle with that, and your post reminds me to do that work, which then will pave a path for all else to unfold more joyfully, more smoothly (smoother?).
Anyway darling, good to see you. Good work on the books, and thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Love,
Meg
You always make me smile, Meg. I HATE that you’ve faced so much, especially feeling WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME. Not a damn thing is wrong with either one of us. We just need to rewire our thinking. TY for being you, and my friend. xo – m3
Thank you for being so open and honest. I can’t even imagine how you have coped with the fire, and I’m glad you are feeling more compassionate toward yourself now and that you understand you are not responsible. However, I can certainly empathize with both the unpacking issue (we moved last week after 19 years in the home we custom built) and the need for perfection. I have been trying to finish a novel for about three years. Have rewritten it many times. I think I’m now on the final lap. See you at the finish line where we will both be winners. It’s good to hear from you.
Hi Vicki – WOW! You’ve had a lot going on. I’m so glad you’ve moved beyond your perfectionism as well. Best of luck to your launch. I appreciate your friendship. xoxoxo
Hi, Marcy! Love your books, BTW! I really related to your story. I have been dealing with unresolved trauma from my childhood and suffered from depression most of my life. I have always been my worst critic. Then, 6 yrs ago my husband and I were in a severe car accident that led to both of us losing our jobs, then our home. We were homeless for nearly a year when I finally was able to land a job. As difficult as it was to be homeless, it made me realize that (1) nothing in life is as bad as being homeless, (2) I needed to have more compassion in my life for others, and (3) we made it back from that – we are survivors. I’m happy to be working 2 jobs now and hubby is receiving his SS retirement benefits. That, coupled with our love for each other, is all we need.
Hi Helen – what an amazing, resourceful person you and your husband are to overcome so many hardships. I’m definitely trying to figure out the best way to share with everyone what I’ve learned … I’ll be in touch.
Lastly, THANK YOU for reading my books. Copper Daniels is so very special to me, and I’ve love that others like YOU feel the same way.