Most writers need an attitude adjustment about their creativity. I know I did. After reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, my head’s buzzing with ideas to share with you. It blew me away. The #1 takeaway you need to hear…
Stop waiting for permission to write.
Big Magic’s Big Mama
Liz Gilbert is the world-renowned author of Eat Pray Love, a memoir that sold over twelve million copies, then was made into a movie with the same title, starring Julia Roberts. That book didn’t change my life the way it was touted, but I still thought, “Man, this chick is smart and funny and cool. I’d pilgrimage with her anytime.” Plus, I’m willing to listen to anyone who’s sold millions of books.
Liz gives all artists a big ol’ talking-to. She says we don’t need permission from anyone to live a creative life. Maybe your parents didn’t give you that permission to do so, but ignore them. Look back further at your ancestors. Before binge watching on TV, gaming and the lives of couch potatoes took over, go back several centuries to when everyone was creative. There was no Target. People made stuff. They were welders, shoe makers, carpenters, butchers, gardeners, hatters, potters, bakers, painters, jewelers, glass blowers and masons.
This is who we were.
This is who we still are.
The Worst Girlfriend Ever
This is my favorite analogy in Big Magic. A young man once told Liz, “Writing is like that bitchy, beautiful girl in high school who you always worshiped, but who only toyed with you for her own purposes. You know in your heart that she’s bad news, and you should probably just walk away from her forever, but she always lures you back in. Just when you think she’s finally going to be your girlfriend, she shows up at school holding hands with the captain of the football team, pretending she’s never met you. All you can do is weep in a locked bathroom stall. Writing is evil.”
“That being the case,” Liz asked him, “what do you want to do with your life?”
“I want to be a writer,” he said.
Stop Being Addicted to Suffering
As a society, we’re pain junkies. We wear our creative torment like badges of honor. We even use it in our language:
The starving artist.
To write, cut open a vein and bleed.
Toiling away over your book.
Kill your darlings.
That doesn’t sound very happy. The myth of the tortured artist has always existed, and that illusion has left countless corpses behind: F. Scott Fitzgerald drank himself to death, Virginia Woolf drowned herself, Ernest Hemingway put a bullet through his brain. All these authors were considered to be the best of the best, but they still destroyed themselves in the end.
“Writer” and “crazy” don’t have to go hand in hand.
My Own Suffering
I’m not an alcoholic or drug addict, but I’ve struggled over the years with my own love/hate relationship with writing. I’ve badmouthed and belittled my muse. I’ve verbally beaten the hell out of her, then expected her to show up daily and dazzle me on the page. No wonder she appears with such reluctance.
Why should creativity bless me with another story, or any words for that matter, if I groan about her, and act like she’s an all-round pain in the arse?
It was an epiphany a few years ago to realize what an important part fears plays in the process (self-doubt, perfectionism, procrastination). It’s an equal revelation now to know how much I should delight in my fears. Not treat them like those drunk, obnoxious relatives who show up uninvited at Thanksgiving.
My New Attitude Toward Creativity
Now, I’m seeing creativity like a game of Charades. Creativity is making all the silly hand gestures to me, and I’m trying my hardest to guess what creativity’s trying to tell me and pen that story. Here’s the kicker. Creativity and I are on the same team. We’re not enemies at all. Creativity wants me to win. It just can’t give me the answer ‘cause that’s against the rules.
You don’t need anyone’s permission to be creative. Not New York City publishing, not your parents, not that teacher who said you didn’t have enough talent.
Write. Do it badly, but happily, so that someday you may do it better, or even be great.
The only one stopping you is you.
What’s the #1 way you need to change your attitude toward creativity?
Please leave a comment. I’d love to chat.
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Hey Marcy
I love the increased confidence in your writing coming across in your posts. (4 edits to that sentence)
This is the best-written post of yours I have read. It is 100% committed and convincing (and correct).
Phil
Wow, Phil. I hadn’t noticed my confidence. Thanks for pointing it out. I appreciate you doing so and your friendship. Thank you!
Two books I need to read–yours and Elizabeth Gilbert’s!! Thanks for the inspiring words!! Charades, indeed.
Ha, I look forward to you reading both books (but, especially MINE)! Thanks!
You’re right, Marcy. Nobody needs permission to be creative. We are all creatives. We all have the power to create. At some point, we have to use that power. At some point, we have to come to terms with supporting our own creativity. We have to own who we are.
Wow, Claudia! I love how determined you sound! You’re right, we each must own our creativity. It’s who we truly are and we’re so much happier when we honor that creativity. Thanks for your great insights!
I loved this book and your take on it. Liz Gilbert is magical. It’s a very inspiring book on creativity and its many facets. I personally love the analogy of having an affair with your writing.
Thanks for sharing! Looking forward to reading your book as well.
Hi Michelle,
I’m so glad you’ve already read Big Magic. Wasn’t it incredible? I also enjoyed her suggestion to “have an affair with your writing.” However, I liked the bitchy high school girlfriend because I felt like everyone knew THAT girl back in the day, and could relate. 🙂
Thanks for your excitement about Pennies from Burger Heaven. I appreciate you.
Marcy, I suspected you’d love Big Magic! I really enjoyed your playful and fun interpretation here. It’s all about play and joy. Yes, it can be hard and tedious at times, but we’re doing it because we love words and stories, and there’s no reason to fall into the myth of the tortured artist if we’re actually doing our heart work.
After finishing Big Magic I came face to face with huge and challenging edits for my novel and I paused at the threshold of anxiety, poised for a breakdown and then I thought about Gilbert’s idea of the Trickster versus Martyr – and I chose to play with the Trickster, and take on the challenge in good spirits, rather than misery. And it really helped!
Hey there, Dana,
You’ve the first person I’ve spoke to who’s actually applied some Big Magic wisdom to their writing, and loved how your change of attitude helped with your edits. That’s reassuring because this summer, I wrote the last 200 pages without one edit. I NEVER went back at the end of my writing session and read through what I wrote – it’s 200 RAW pages.
I’ll definitely need to invoke the Trickster when I jump into that because at the time I just needed to get down the bones of the story. I’ll need to stamp play and joy across my forehead! Thanks.
Glad to hear from you again Marcy, it’s been a while… I’m on Twitter now too, since I mean to publish at some point. It’s just one of those things….. 🙂
I agree about us all being creative in one way or another. Yes, people made everything years ago. Everyone (who was educated) wrote something, even if only letters. People sewed and knitted and weaved etc etc. It’s almost as if much of society is stiflling their creativity. (Hm… Material for my own blog too)
Recognizing our creativity and moving forward with it, honing it, practicing it, we open ourselves up. Your blog has helped me do that and I’m enjoying my writing. I still have my self doubts etc but it’s not stopping me.
Congratulations on your upcoming book launch and thanks for the other book suggestion. Someone else’s perspective is always good to help us grow.
Beautifully said, Anne. I do think you’re onto something there with a blog idea about society exploring their own creativity. Explore it!
I’m thrilled my posts help you, and you’re not letting self-doubt stop you from writing. I’m not called to paint. Why? Because I’m not a painter. If people fell the urge to write, then they should do it. It’s WHO they are.
Plus, thank your joy about my book launch! Woohoo. Exciting times ahead.
Marcy, thank you for another amazing post. You find these little treasures! I can’t wait to read this book – I struggle greatly with insecurity and I think this will be a very interesting read. Congratulations on your book too! I am anxious to read it as well!
Wendy,
If you’re struggling with insecurity (and WHAT writer isn’t?), then I definitely think you should read Big Magic. Another one that gives even more nuts-and-bolts that I think every writer should read at least once a year is The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. BRILLIANT! Good luck to you!
Marcy, this is great! Thank you! I too can see your increased confidence! I have to say that mine is increasing as the month goes on. I’ve just finished editing the tenth chapter of my work in progress and can, quite proudly say that the current word count stands at over 20,700. 🙂
Although I feel proud about my impending publication, I do NOT feel more confident. However, I trust you all here enough to believe YOU over ME! 🙂 Thank you for saying so.
Congrats on your 20,700! That’s great. Regardless of our genre, we all write the same way. One word at a time. 🙂
Yep, we sure do! I’m proud of you too and can’t wait to read your book!
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m really touched by everyone’s excitement for me. 🙂
No need to thank me… Thank YOU! 🙂
I need to stop thinking of my writing/creativity as my job or “work”. It is so not work, not even hard work. Elusive is the muse, but there are many ideas to be pursued on tough writing days…like reading Liz Gilbert’s book!
Very wise words, Alison. I like your phrasing: elusive is the muse. So true. Good luck to us all in catching creativity!
I need to stop questioning what I’m writing. Usually I start writing a chapter or project and I go back and think “no that’s not right…” even when i should really just keep going and work out the buggs later.
Great blog post as ever
Hi Myriam,
You’re so right. You’re going to doubt yourself, but you really should keep writing. That’s a huge mistake I made years ago with my first novel. I kept rewriting the beginning…spent years on the middle. It was just a big mess. The truth is, you don’t truly understand a story until you’ve written until the end.
You’ve got the right answers. Have my faith in yourself. (I need to do that, too). 🙂
Marcy, thanks for your emails of encouragement on writing. After a long drought, I have had four short stories published and I am writing a humorous chapter book for children 8+.
OMG, Carol! That’s so exciting. I would’ve been impressed with four short stories completed, but PUBLISHED?! Beyond fabulous. Good luck on your chapter book. Sounds like your treated your muse well. Keep up the good work.
Marcy – another great post. More than a month ago I told you I was going to beat the Procrastination Demon and make writing my #1 priority of the day. I’m happy to report I’m still going strong and should be able to submit a novella by end of November, followed by a novel by end of December! I’m a much happier person now and confidence in my writing ability grows every day. Yes, a lot of it I’m not happy with, sometimes into the 3rd or 4th revision. Some of it is truly CRAP! But I keep going every day and found to my pleasant surprise, I have made a lot of progress without writing 12 hours per day!
Jack! I’d like to take your comment and post it to every writer in the universe! You’re an amazing example of how you can accomplish MORE in LESS time. WHY? Because you’re being consistent in how often you write, letting that writing be less than perfect, so the end result is an (almost) completed novella and novel. This is the best news ever! Keep up the great work!
Marcie – thank you! and feel free to post it to every writer in the universe . . . LOL – that must be one heck of an Email list!
HA!, I’m not overly dramatic or anything am I? Call me a writer….
Hi Marcy! I hesitated to read your post because I’m still in mid-reading of Big Magic, though I did get to see Liz Gilbert in Toronto a month ago … my copy is signed!!
Anyway, she used the writing > love affair analogy when she spoke, and my husband and I both thought it was fantastic. It explodes the whole notion of not having enough time — would you ever say that to a new lover? Never!!
I’m so glad to feel the positive energy just flying out of your words. You’re excited and happy, and it shows.
So happy for you, my friend!
Thanks so much for stopping by, T.O. I always enjoy your insights (plus, thank you for the compliment). I’m sooooo jealous you got to see Liz Gilbert. She seems totally down-to-earth and cool. Good like with your NaNoPinMo!
That’s when living so far apart can be such a pain. My husband would’ve gladly given up his ticket to you if you could’ve come.