As writers, we sometimes fall into dark places.
Nobody means to get depressed. No one says, “Hey! I want to be miserable. I want to wallow through excruciating pain. I want to feel like a failure.”
The cause of our darkness varies. Maybe it’s writing related – rejections, criticism and feeling judged. Or, it might be your health. Maybe life just kicked you in the teeth with a death, divorce, losing a job.
Whatever the reason…
We may forget who we are as writers.
From time to time, we might not even remember why we fell in love with words in the first place.
For me, my gloomy period began in September 2013 when my agent left the biz before we had a chance to sell my book.
Overnight, my literary world fell to blackness.
Try to Return to Who You Are
When you find yourself in a shadowy abyss, here are some suggestions to help you find your way back to that love affair with words.
* Back to Basics – Eat healthier, get more sleep, and get some exercise. There’s so much about writing beyond our control that we should do everything in our power to feel our best when we sit down to work. Hungover, stuffed with junk food, and a couch-shaped arse won’t help the situation.
* Visit a Doctor – Check if there’s anything medically wrong with you (that was part of my problem during my funk. Not to get all female on you, but my hormones were out-of-whack. I’m working and playing with others much better now.)
* Visit a Therapist – It’s not a weakness to seek help on emotional issues. In fact, it’s just the opposite – only courageous people admit they need outside assistance. I did a stint in therapy during my 20’s that taught me to accept some experiences from the past I couldn’t change, as well as take charge of my choices as an adult.
* Think Positive Thoughts – I’m 100% serious about this one. Our actions follow our thoughts. Don’t believe me? Next time you’re having a bad day, check what’s on your mind. I’ll bet your thinkin’ is stinkin’.
It’s simple:
Positive thoughts = positive actions.
Negative thoughts = negative actions.
Weak, scattered thoughts = weak, scattered actions.
Throughout the day, repeat like a mantra whatever saying improves your literary world:
I’m going to have a great writing session tomorrow.
I have the perfect solution to my plot problem.
I’m so happy Awesome Literary Review wants to publish my short story.
What Matters for Writers
Although my gloomy time seemed to happen overnight, it took a lot longer than one evening to feel like my writerly-self again,
A reader and I were conversing via email. She was nice enough to say how much she appreciated the encouragement from Mudpie Writing. Afterwards, I saw her blog address and visited it. On her ‘ABOUT ME’ page, my eyes landed on this line:
I like what I am when I write.
A chill shivered up my spine.
I’d forgotten that truth. My brain rewrote her sentence and stamped it to my heart:
I like WHO I am when I write.
I desperately needed that reminder. I started repeating it to myself like a mantra morning, noon and night:
I like WHO I am when I write.
It’s so true.
Saying it to myself over and over finally gave me the courage to create Writing Naked. That changed everything. It felt like a personal manifesto and it’s thrilling to see it resonating with so many people.
It feels wonderful to be me again.
Even without a literary agent.
The #1 Question to Ask Yourself
When you’re battling whatever creative monster is chasing you: self-doubt, perfectionism, performance anxiety, criticism, rejection. When you feel like you’re losing heart and losing hope.
Stop.
Step back and take time to journal 5 – 15 minutes every day (for as long as you need to), the only question that matters for creatives:
WHO am I when I write?
A lot of emotion may spew onto the page: good, bad and ugly.
That’s exactly what needs to happen. You must clear away the negative, in order to return to the positive.
In journaling, here’s the essence of what I rediscovered about myself:
I’m happy when I write. When I shut off that negative voice, I’m at peace. Even on the rough days, when I don’t know where my novel is going, or what to do about MPW, I still feel proud because I’ve honored my gift. It’s humbling to know that my words inspire, move, or somehow affect others. I’m a better wife, mom and person when I write.
Thanks to this process, I remember once again who I am when I write.
The real me.
WHO are you when you write? HOW does it make you feel?
Please share a comment with me. I’d love to chat.
Pick up your FREE copy today of the mystery, The Moon Rises at Dawn (SkipJack Publishing). Read, enjoy, repeat.
When I write I’m happier, because I’m doing what I like. If I get something down on paper, or on the computer, I feel like I’ve accomplished something. It makes my day. If I don’t write for awhile it’s always hard to get back on track. Once I’m back I feel like myself again.
That’s so true, Elizabeth. When I don’t write for a few days — I feel off, like I’m just not me. I appreciate you sharing your comment!
I guess I’m me when I write… It’s my creative thoughts that become solidified when they end up on the page. Whether it’s a letter to a friend or relative (which has become mostly a dying art), a poem or a story I’m working on, it is a part of me that I am sharing. Even fiction comes from the mind and experiences of the writer and I kind of like that. 🙂
Oh, Ann — I LOVE that: “My creative thoughts that become solidified when they end up on the page.” Beautiful!
And you’re so right about letters. I wrote someone a letter last week and they called to thank me. They said how special it felt that I was thinking of them enough to freeze that moment in time and focus just on them with my written words.
It made me want to do that for others more. Thanks for your comment.
I wrote this a number of years ago after a comment from my uncle regarding my “wordy” email…..
The Dying Art of Letter writing
It is a sad day indeed for the literary community when the art of letter writing dies. By all appearances it is making a comeback via the internet and emails. However their contents are quite different, often connecting words are missing and generally only small memos are sent, not letters of substance.
When we consider a great writer such as Jane Austen and that the majority of her work was contrived from letters she sent and received, it seems that such works could never be compiled today. They would be disjoint and very short to say the
least.
Of course there are a few of us, a dying breed if you will, that consider letter writing an art and find much contentment therein. Like anything strange and foreign we often receive ridicule and scorn for our loving task. Such comments as “you always answer so quickly!”. This one meant as a slap on the wrist for giving them a guilty conscience for not doing the same. Another one I recently received for a letter-style email, “you always did have digital incontinence”. Similar to the older “verbal diarrhoea!” This from a relative no less!! This too will salve a guilty conscience for people who have little to say, no life to tell about or no imagination to invent one.
However, such downgrades as these are sent to try us serious writers and test our metal for future communiqués. Will we give in and become like the rest, memo scribblers and one-liner writers? Will be continue on our quest to enrich our lives and the lives of others with our musings?
Jane, we will not give up!!
Wonderful, Ann. You make Jane Austen proud! 🙂
Thanks a lot Marcy, don’t know that I have shared that before…
Well, if that’s the case, I’m doubly honored that you shared it here at Mudpie Writing. You’ve officially grown today as a writer because you shared a piece of your heart. Thanks.
Being a part of these forums has given me more confidence in my writing… That I actually am able to write something another person would like to read and find interesting.
Nice to know there are others like you who do write actual letters, even if it’s only occasionally. Keeping the flame alive! 🙂
Hope your book is coming along… And your tribe is contributing to that.
Thank you SO MUCH for saying that. I’m loving building Mudpie Writing, and love hearing it’s giving you confidence. We’re all in this together!
I’m just starting to find myself as a writer. But I have been practicing the advice and writing every day. Some days I can’t due to medical issues mainly and I feel like I missed the best part of my day. So I think I’m finding a part of me I’ve always wanted but did not really believe I had in me before. Even if I don’t particularly like what I write each day…the next day starts new and I start again and am excited to see where my words take me. I guess I’m an explorer at this point…trying to find the writer within.
Your comment gave me CHILLS, Wendy. I love your analogy of an explorer trying to find the writer within. I picture you setting sail on a vessel of words, ready for a new adventure each time.
You’re definitely becoming a writer because you’re craving it every day (and that’s GOOD). Please be patient with yourself on the days you can’t write, ESPECIALLY since you’re dealing with medical issues.
Keep up the good work, and please keep me posted. I’m so happy for you!
Thanks for the great article! I found that journaling helps me think more clearly, also. Once I get all the frustrations, pain and negativity out of the way, I can go back to writing with confidence, knowing what I want and where I am going with my writing.
Boy, you and me both, Kitty. I’ve been actively journaling almost daily for about 18 years now. It has SAVED me over and over. Thanks for your insight.
Great article, Marcy. It is so easy for us to be consumed by things (a.k.a. the daily woes of life) that we lose focus on what the writing really means. To help myself keep focus when the times are tough, I leave post-it notes around the house with empowering saying about what writing means to me. It helps my mind to stay on track.
This is the best formula:
Positive thoughts = positive actions.
Negative thoughts = negative actions.
Weak, scattered thoughts = weak, scattered actions.
Thanks for writing that.
You’re so welcome, Amanda. I just gave myself a talking-to just today about my weak scattered thoughts. I LOVE that you leave yourself inspirational notes around your house…really a great idea!
I am at the dusk of my life. It’s true that during these ten last years (since 2014) I have faced many difficulties and wrinting occured to be the best remedy to my stress. During these ten years I wrote five novels and urged my acquaintances to imitate me. Some of them did. One of them published. The others are about to do. ( I woud rather say they had their work printed, not published. They have the material means to do). I am, here at the dusk of my days, with five novels in my drawers and my computer and start seriously to give up dreaming, to give up writing.
Please do not pay too much attention to my syntax and quality of writing. I am not a native English speaker.
Hi Madani – your English is great. Thanks for commenting. I’m glad writing helped during your distress. I understand the sadness about the five novels in your drawers. It’s crazy how writing can both break your heart, but is the only way to save your literary soul. Good luck as you decide what to do about your five novels.
Who am I when I write?
I’ve stumbled across this profound question. Immediately I felt the urge to respond. My heart smiled softly. Unlike the urgent leap I so often experience when writing, this was a much calmer response. It felt like finding a key and saying” ahh, I wonder if this is the right one.”
And so here I am skirting the question, albeit setting context.
Who am I when I write?
I am me. I am the jumble of thoughts and unexplored curves and tails of experience that stay locked away. I am a free spirit, uninterrupted by external forces, unforgiving mirrors, or any type of reflective review or interference.
I am on a sole journey, riding horseback across dunes and hills and valleys: seeking, retrieving, inventing, exploring.
I am naked. Unfettered by need. Unresponsive to prompt or query. I am at home in the river of muse and at tango with music of the soul.
I am silent to the outside world. I am the inner din and clatter. I am the fork in the road between outer world and inner worlds.
I am a maiden of ink and prowess. I am a contortionist of phrase and lyric. I am exposed to my Self in unthinkable ways. I am a dancer of thought and rhyme. I am an aspect of atoms, released and fired into the world of mass and matter. My emotions, become my thoughts become my words – and I am storehouse and story of many threads, and untried weaves.
I am the poet of my soul and ready to pour ink into the folds of my life.
In no other place do I feel so relieved of this outer life, as this place I am in when I write.
Who am I when I write? I am the creative fire. I am the tightrope walker between said and unsaid, between fire and water. I am the burning flame drowning in a torrent of deeper knowing.
I am deeper knowing, un-drowning and burning the river of flow.
I am the flowing river – of creative passion. I am passion bringing flames to the dark and darkness to the flame of light. I am freeform freedom. I am creative fire. I am life.
You have an official fan in Marcy McKay, Dawn. I love the way you write and am honored you shared this with Mudpie Writing.
Thanks Marcy that’s very nice of you.
Regards Dawn
Hey Marcy 🙂
I stumbled upon this as well and read it. It filled me with this passion in which was created to ignite this piece. I hope you like it.
Who am I when I write? I am Miriam. A bully and doubt victim who has found her wings. I am Miriam, a human being prone to make mistakes and fail many times before succeeding. I am a writer, whose voice will ring out to generations.
I am a voice in a darkened world, willing to do anything to lift another. I am alive, with the words and worlds living in my brain, my light out of darkness. I am a warrior princess who will not let evil rule my mind.
I am a scared girl, who fears if I will ever be good enough. I am willing to show the world who I am no matter how many rejections I may get. I will not fail, I cannot fail only if I give up on myself will I fail.
I am determined to write to the end, to never give in or give up no matter how many people cry “impossible” “you’re just fooling yourself” “you are not a writer,” No voice can hurt me unless I let it. No one will control me nor compel me to do what I will not.
But most importantly I’m HUMAN. its OK to make mistakes, it’s OK to fail, its OK to be me. I like who I am when I write. How true a statement. Who I am is defined in the word writer. Without this I’d be nothing, a lost soul in a dark world. I bring light and I make mistakes. Its who I am and I will NEVER change myself to please another. I like who I am when I write… I like who I am when I write…
This was lovely, Miriam. Especially about the victim who has found her wings.
If you stay true to yourself, I do believe you and your writing will continue to soar!